eing the happy-go-lucky member of the citizenry that I am, I rarely find myself questioning the wisdom of my state or local governments. Unfortunately, Sally goads me into a frothy rage over things, and I'm forced to lash out, with angry little e-mails to hapless municipal employees. Tonight's award goes to.... Bob Keller, who had the unfortunate distinction of having his e-mail address posted on the About page for the McLean County Health Department.

In 2009, the State, and by extension our county, decided to start charging a registration fee for cat ownership. It's $9 per cat, per year. It's also enforced by your vet, who reports to the state that you own cats, and thus the circle of Big Brotherhood is complete. Thanks doc. But wait, maybe the fee will be used in a good way - let's read the helpful PDF.

So apparently the fee is going to be used to pay for the spay and neutering of animals to make pet ownership more affordable for those who otherwise couldn't afford the initial medical costs of getting a cat. Bear in mind, there's no mention of reducing the $9 yearly fee for such folks, or removing the constant costs of food and regular veterinary care for the animals. They'll give you the razor, but you're still paying for those blades, dammit.

And can I take an aside here and ask, why on earth do we need subsidized cat ownership? Seriously? The initial costs are least of your concerns.

So, with my wife's prodding, I was spurred into action. I give you my angry little (well, it was little) letter.

Anyhow, I tend to argue against the benefit of cat ownership, while my wife is loudly in favor of it. I had been losing ground ever since The General arrived because hey, an 8 week old kitten is pretty darn cute, even if it was bordering on feral, needed some serious de-worming, and all the other associated shots and surgeries a responsible owner is obligated to pay for at their local vet. We were saving a life, reducing the area's Animal Control costs, and supporting the local economy.

Now I see the county, in support of an apparent state-wide change in policy, wants to charge me $9 a year for each cat I have. Even better, local vets have been deputized as official tattlers to report on everyone who brings in a cat for any veterinary attention. That's a nice way to abuse the apparent love and generosity of people who care for these animals. First, charge them for the privilege of ownership, then enforce it by having the doctors keep tabs on them. The fine print on this makes it even more entertaining; Barn cats and feral cats are exempt from the registration, apparently because those lifestyles somehow make them less likely vectors for rabies than domesticated, indoor house pets. Or possibly because the state -- and the county acting as its toady -- find it significantly easier to fleece the poor saps who are dumb and wealthy enough to seek regular veterinary care for the animals they've taken responsibility for.

So to reiterate - I wanted to thank you, because the policies of the organization you represent just gave me the ammunition I needed. Not only can I now justify skipping those pesky and expensive veterinary visits, but I can embrace letting our animals run free & untagged outdoors. After all, feral and/or barn cats don't require registration, which must mean they're immune to the dastardly effects of rabies. Who knew indoor cats lived on the knife's edge, and were so desperately at risk while living in our home? Just think, without you and this policy's timely intervention, McLean county could have become ground zero for the annual rabies holocaust, which, according to the CDC, totals 2 to 3 people a year in the United States. I suppose a "Thank You" doesn't really cover my relief at your heroic lightening of my wallet.

P.S. If the $9 isn't solving your budgetary woes, I notice my wife has a pretty strong attachment to indoor Sock Monkeys. You might consider requiring registration of them also, but I don't think we take them to the vet very often.